The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
