Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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