Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
