I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You need a sexual gate keeper
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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