Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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