Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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