Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
