Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
