It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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