We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
