I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
