Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
