You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
