i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
