so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
