dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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