He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
