Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
