So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
