so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
