OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
