Sry I called you an 8
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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