It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
