wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
