she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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