i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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