At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I forget how to act sober
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
