Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
