Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
