I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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