I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
