Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
