Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Even my vagina gasped.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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