i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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