I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize