Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
