no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
