New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize