is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
