I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
