Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
