wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
