We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize