If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
