Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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