I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
