How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
