Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
