Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
