if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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