no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
