Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
