Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Send help, water and tortillas.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
His nipple licking is glorious
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