my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
