ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
