You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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