If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
