When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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