Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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