So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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