If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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