You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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