a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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