awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
