Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i came on her dog
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
