I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
