I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
