Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
